i knew yesterday was too good to be true.
how can i buy a new phone and know what i want for my birthday? things will never look so good for you. there must be something to put me down.

my eldest bro is in the hospital. a&e. please pray its not cancer. although i used to curse and swear behind his back, this year i realised that he actually cares alot. actually i knew that all along but i was just denying it. fuck. i pray he will be okay.

december has been so bad.
i dont know whether i can take the rest of the blows Mr December has in store for me.
i can already imagine how bad 25th is gonna be. i want to go to the airport and fly away.

i am so tired.
so tired of crying already. wipe these tears and i pray that one day in december, i will smile again. i am so tired of everything.

i hate you december.